Published 1 Year, 6 Months ago
in blogging.
I’m not quite sure how I want this blog to look. I like this template, but not sure about what to put on the tabs.
At the moment I’ve been adding gerunds that sum up my activities. I guess Parenting, Cooking and Working are next. But what will I put on those pages? And will I eventually incorporate them into the blog?
That’s another thing - what should I call this tab? The default is “blog”. I changed it to “home” but am not sure that is what I want to call it. I wonder if I could think of a gerund for it - and for the about tab too. That would end up to be too cutsey. What does Clare call it? Oh yeah, corny.
I’ve been (slowly) scanning old photographs from my mother and uploading them to flickr. Mom knows I’m doing this and when I first started doing it about two years ago, gave me the photographs. This time, however, I just took a large bagful. Some are of people and events that don’t mean anything to me, and they are not old enough for me to care about. But some tell a story.
Today I found a photograph of my mother when she was about the same age as my daughter. 
The back of the photograph tells the whole story. She must have sent it to my father when he was in the Navy.
When my mom was 15 or 16 her mother or father suggested she write to a sailor whose brother-in-law they knew from the Moose. She did and I guess, fell in love pretty quickly. Well, who wouldn’t? 
Dad was a handsome and charming man. They wrote back and forth (mom still has her letters from Dad but he threw hers away) while he was overseas and met up when he was back on leave.
They married when she was 18 and he was 26 - eight years difference between the two.
My daughter is 15 years old. If I knew she would meet a 25 year old next year and marry him in three years, I think I’d send her to a convent.
Old photographs are fun to look at. They usually bring happy memories. Too often, though, they are a huge time-sink.
Published 1 Year, 7 Months ago
in blogging.
I’ve had this weblog for months - maybe even a year and all I have done with it is change the template. I spend most of my online time on Blogger where I have several blogs going at once.
I also have been spending some time on Vox, which is a sibling (or child?) of LiveJournal (where I have a journal or two).
The biggest reason I have not written anything here is because I don’t know what I want this blog to be. Cedar Waxwing has far too many nests around the Internet. She needs to find a real home and plant some roots.
Thursday
Well! Here I am, in an airplane over Michigan!
This morning I got up at 7:00 (without the alarm) and realized what today was! My England Day, June 20, 1974. It began like any other day, bickering between my family, (little bit) and whatnot.
Then 9:10 came and we left for Larkin. Lori was there and I said goodbye to her. Then Cindy came and I said bye to her.
What a strange sensation, flying is. I really should do it more often! In an hour and a half I will be in New York! I will see the Statue of Liberty! Wow!!! Then I will be on my way to England! Over the ocean. The Sea! Oh my gosh, I really don’t believe what is happening to me. I remember when I first heard about England. It really is unbelievable that I’m here.
Note:
I remember being excited about the flight, singing “We’re going on an airplane!” with Sue B. I don’t really recall much of the flight except that the plane had two stories and Sue and I got up and walked around. We asked if we could go to the other story, but were told not in flight, maybe later.
It was pretty unbelievable I was there. Things like that just didn’t happen to the likes of me.
Wednesday
Tomorrow is the big day! I leave for England at 9:30 am. I have a headache right now. Oh, woe is me. Nothing ever goes right - Ha, Ha. I am going to England!!! What more can I ask? I have received $270.00 this last week. Oh my gosh, what an idiot I am. I am nervous or something. I still have a lot to do.
3:40 pm
Well, wonders of wonders. Guess who I just saw! Stephanie K. (V.) I haven’t seen her for years. I am so happy. She has invited me to come out sometime. I can’t believe it at all! She is so great! Great!!!
Note:
I think my Aunt Ginny and Uncle Jack gave me another $100 for the trip. Not sure where the other money came from though.
Obviously I was very excited about the adventure upon which I was about to embark. I counted eight exclamation points in that short entry.
Stephanie was the daughter of a friend of my mom’s. She was one or two years older than me and was a kind of free spirit. She’d moved to San Diego either during or after high school I believe she married young (she must have been married at this time as her last name was different from what I remember it to have been). I remember being awe of her and her accomplishments at the time. I don’t think I knew anyone who had escaped Elgin like she did.
Many years later my then boyfriend, now husband, and I visited her in San Diego when we were living in LA one summer. We had delicious Mexican food.
I had lunch with her mother over this past Christmas holiday and she said that Stephanie is still into her music. (I remember she was in a band long ago)
Monday
I got another letter from Jez today. It is really nice, as all of his letters are. It is hard to believe only ten more days to go. I’ve got a a lot to do, but I have awful cramps. I was really going to begin to pack. I will when the pill takes effect. I guess mom found out that it is her thyroid. I am glad.
I’ve still got to mail Jez’s, Grandma’s and Pam’s letters. Sometimes I think that Jeremy is just a young boy going through a love (puppy) affair. This isn’t true with me. I am true and, I don’t know. I hope I can come to a realization this summer. I love Jez. He is absolutely the most wonderful person I’ve ever met in my life. I really want to marry him. He is so perfect. If he is at the end of it I could wait a hundred years.
Grandma Patrick said that she had something for me. I think it is money. I hope so. I need it. I now have the grand total of $43.34 in my purse, $20.00 in the Larkin Bank.
Note:
More angst over love and Jeremy. This is getting a little old, but I imagine I really was confused.
My Grandma Patrick did, indeed, have money for me. Whenever she would dispense money to her children or grandchildren, she’d go through a unusual little ritual. She’d had a mastectomy years ago (not cancer, but for some reason the doctors removed one of her breasts - infection perhaps before antibiotics?) Anyway that is where she kept her money, in the padding of her empty bra cup. So when she wanted to give someone money she would ask us to come into her room and she would undo the top buttons of her dress, reach in her bra and pull out cash. I believe she gave me $100 - a huge sum for me back then.
Notice that I’ve begun writing the date European style.
Sunday
I suddenly feel artistic. Why? I don’t know, maybe Jez has inspired me or something. Speaking about Jez, I am having dizzy spells all night when I think or talk of him. It could be shock or maybe just fatigue. I am going shopping with Lori S. tomorrow night. I am not sure what to buy, but I have to get a few things. I babysat last night until 4:00 am. Maybe that’s why I’m blacking out every once in a while.
Note:
I don’t recall these feelings at all. It was not unusual to babysit so long - I wonder who it was for this time.
Published 1 Year, 7 Months ago
in angst.
I am so restless. I want to sleep but I have so much to do before I leave that I am kept awake worrying about it. I don’t know what I want to do. Clean? I haven’t studied for my Spanish final at all. What if I fail it? Then I will fail Spanish. What then? Oh shit, I don’t know anything anymore.
Note:
It must have been worry and excitement about going to another country and seeing Jeremy again. I don’t recall feeling restless though.
Thursday
Last night was Prom. I had fears galore about the rotten time I was going to have. But I had a good time. Dan finally realizes our relationship. We are friends. After Prom Mike B. wanted to go to his boss’s apartment. I knew why. After we got there he and his date used the bedroom. Dan couldn’t believe his eyes! I said that’s what I figured they would do. Dan and I talked and talked. I am so glad we are back to normal.
I really love Jeremy. I got a letter from him the other day. To to be exact (that makes eight counting the card and my parent’s [letter]). One brought the news that I would be staying there for three weeks! To live in the same house as Jeremy B! My love.
Note:
My memories of Prom are different from this. I remember acting bored, so much so that someone later asked if I’d had too much to drink because it looked like I was sleeping at the table with my head down. I was offended by the entertainment - a belly dancer. I don’t even have a photo of myself in my prom dress standing next to my date - my mom forgot to take a photo and Dan claims the photo his mom took didn’t turn out.
I’m surprised I knew that Mike and his date were going to have sex in the bedroom. I didn’t know I was so worldly wise.
As for the letter from Jeremy saying I was going to stay in his house - I guess I neglected to write that Vilma’s mother wrote us and said that “under the circumstances” I was not welcome at her house.
Friday
I really ought to keep up more in my journal. Happy little things happen throughout each day that I will forget if I don’t write them down. Sue really looked nice today. I bought a cute outfit yesterday. Only eight days of school left. next Wednesday is Prom. I really don’t want to go at all, but I must. I guess I will be wearing my tan shoes, maybe not. I wish I knew someone with the same size feet myself. Kay B. does. I love John Denver’s music. 27 days before I leave for England! I am still wondering about Jez. Do I love him? Tomorrow is my jewelry party. I don’t really especially want to have it but I have to now. I wish, I wish, What do I wish? No more room for dreams to come true. My calendar is completely filled. Jez is really something. Really something. Will I marry him? Would I say “yes” if he asked me? I don’t know. I have so much to do and no time to do it in. I would like to write to Jez but I haven’t anything to say anymore. I love to get his letters. I should write to Vilma.
Looking back she saw that it was quite sudden. She only knew him for four days. How can you love someone you’ve known for that short time? they asked. But strangely she knew. She could. Although she asked herself a hundred times each day! Do I love him? She knew each time she did. It wasn’t because he was from England, or that he kissed her. But something else. An attraction. A magnetic force pulling their souls together. Yes she loved him. But did he love her? With each of his letters she grew more certain of his love for her.
How did it all begin? When did we really begin to love each other? Was it at The Sting?
Note:
I don’t remember this angst at all. It seemed to me that I took the “love” at face value. Jeremy was my first real boyfriend. I find it interesting that I was so unsure. I’m also surprised I was still writing to Vilma.
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