Tag Archives: new years eve

End of the year wrap-up 2017

2017 has not been a very good year for me. Nothing outrageous has happened. Work’s fine. No one close to me has died [1]. The kids are doing well.

But I have been smoldering all year long and I have been getting angry or hurt about small things. Of course I know why I am angry. I am angry that I don’t feel like I know the country I live in any more. It has become ugly. It is one huge Ugly American.

I’ve fought the ugly American label for so long, but now it doesn’t seem to matter what I do or how I act. I am from the United States, therefore an ugly American. I am from the country that voted a racist, misogynistic, xenophobic reality TV actor as our leader. I live in a country whose leaders are turning back progressive laws. It doesn’t matter that I didn’t vote for this man, it only matters that I have a U. S. passport.

I’ve spent this year eating too much, drinking too much and sleeping too much. Buying too much crap. I have likely been depressed since November 2016. I have let myself “go” in a number of ways and this has got to stop.

That’s why 2018 is going to be the year of hope for me. The year of setting priorities. The year of not being angry anymore.

I still have lots to do, so the Declutter series will continue.

Also, there is a new 365 challenge beginning on January 1. Follow along here.

Notes:
  1. Well, not counting Leo []

A Facebook New Year’s Eve

Last night, while Indigo Bunting was Burning Sugartown and Deloney was talking to Glen and Fay was dodging fireworks and Helen was thinking about hair and penguins I was discovering Facebook.

Now, let it be known, I signed up on Facebook only a few months after it opened its doors to non-students. I’d wondered about this private space for young folks ever since I heard about it through college students I knew.  I was not impressed when I first signed up. My daughter took pity on me and became my friend so my profile didn’t pathetically proclaim “Dona Patrick has no friends”. So I poked around. And poked Clare. And she poked me back. And I poked her. Booorrrinnnng.

Then I got some other friends — my son (who later unfriended me), and some friends I knew online for years. They sent me gifts like growing things and I sent them things like growing things. I logged on occassionally, but it just didn’t hold my interest. I was tired of poking and of strange friend requests and of growing gifts. I even got into the zombie thing. <shakes head>

A few nights ago, after a couple of too many glasses of wine I showed Facebook to my mom and I left drunken comments and messages — one to someone I thought I knew but who was someone else with that same name.

So — last night I thought I’d try again. After all, my kids spend a lot of time on Facebook — there must be some attraction. First of all, the interface has changed. It is cleaner than it was before. I’ve learned to use the ignore button a lot. I’m ignoring gifts — you always have to add something to your Facebook in order to view them anyway.  I’ve also started to ignore friend suggestions because when I tried to befriend someone whose name I knew she flat out rejected me! Ouch….

I did find my best friend from junior high and part of high school. She’s not gotten back yet though. 25% chance that she’ll reject me too. I also found my husband’s distant cousin who I met at his mom’s funeral. She accepted my friendship. Most of the folks that are my friends (45!) are from Brainstorms, but that’s ok. I’ve been there for almost 10 years and I know some of these people better than I know my neighbors I’ve lived near for the same amount of time.

Then I had a chat with a friend from Brainstorms, which was nice. I used to chat a lot, but have not done it recently.

All-in-all, for a New Years Eve, it was very low key and I was in bed by 11 pm.  I doubt it would have been more lively if Dean had been home. As previously mentioned, we don’t really do New Year’s Eve. No, it wasn’t the parties I envisioned as a child or teen. It would have been more fun to have burned sugarcubes or watched fireworks or even chatted with that old friend from high school. But it was what it was, and I have found a new obession, but at least it is something I can share (afar) with my kids.

Random Thoughts on New Year’s Eve

New Years Eve has nearly always made me sad. To me it was not the beginning of a New Year, but the death of an old one.

I suppose I’ve always been the kind of person to look back upon my life rather than look ahead. You can see that in what I write — especially in my journals, but also in posts on my blogs.

As a child I’d envy my parents because they got to go out to parties while I was stuck home with babysitters. Their party hats and nosiemakers the next day were little consolation to a child.

As a teenager I babysat for couples who went out for New Year’s Eve. I’d envision sparkling parties and bubbly champagne and passionate kisses when the clock chimed midnight. Instead of parties I’d be writing in my journal as the old year became the new.

Then when I did have a boyfriend, we celebrated in various ways. I remember a party with some of his college buddies. Kind of lame. I remember one or two New Year’s Eves in Wisconsin — the most memorable being the one in which the proprietor of the bar shouted “drink more whiskey” while tossing firecrackers in the wood burning stove and arguing with me (a vegetarian at the time) about the merits of trapping poor defenseless animals. On the way back to the cabin I grazed a deer.

When the kids were small we’d celebrate with my brother and put the clocks ahead a few hours. Then we’d blow noisemakers and drink sparkling apple cider and hug everyone. The kids never figured it out.

We did celebrate 2000 by going to the National Mall in Washington DC. That was cold and wild. We even let the kids sample champagne at very tender ages. (shhhhh, don’t call the authorities).

Most recently we’ve slept through the festivities. Either because we had to drive from Illinois to Maryland the next day or because we didn’t care.

Tonight Dean is in Elgin and we’re in Bethesda. Even though we’ve had a number of celebrations put on hold (or forgotten) this year, it feels really lonely to be without someone to kiss (or snuggle with) on new years eve. I realized today that Dean and I have not been alone on new year’s eve since the year we met.

Random thoughts about this year.

Larry — Mom’s friend and companion — I wish I’d been more understanding. I wish he could have lived longer.

Our Ireland trip — a very special time and one not soon forgotten

Marcia — what her family must be feeling these days

My mom — she was such a wonderful hostess this Christmas. The time we spent together was perfect.

My dad — love him — he takes a licking and keeps on ticking

The Inlaws — !

My blogging pals — Thank you for sharing your lives with me and for reading and commenting on mine. Happy New Year